If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Holy sore nipples Batman
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Randomize
