maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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