Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
