i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Randomize
