I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Randomize
