How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
