One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
