she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Randomize
