I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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