I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
