We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
