this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize