Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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