my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
When are your genitals available?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
