then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
