Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
