We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
