Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
