Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
