Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
