i'm lost and i look like a hooker
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
