Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
