sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
