May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize