Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
When did angry sex become our thing?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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