This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
