Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
