I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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