i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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