I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
