Fine. I'll sleep in my office
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
