Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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