She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize