i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Well I just put wine in my tea
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
