Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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