No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
