Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
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