so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
