I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
