I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
