i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
