phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
