Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
