For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
