9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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