Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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