bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Let's get the cat blown out
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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