I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Well I just put wine in my tea
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
