I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
