Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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