and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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