So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
