she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
