So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
