More tranny stories later!
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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