lets start a swedish sibling band together
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
