so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
