The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
