Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
