Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
