I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
