just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Randomize
