Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Randomize
